(McClatchy-Tribune Information Services) -- Thanksgiving is a challenge for anyone trying to help a family stay healthy. Shelly Wilfong of Dallas is particularly aware of that this year. "My father is recuperating from his second bypass surgery," says Wilfong, 37, a wife and mother of two.

"He is 63, and my dad's dad passed away from cardiac arrest at 64. I worry, too, because we have a family history of cardiovascular disease.

"I've lost about 18 pounds since the spring, and I want to stay on track and not slide back."

Dr. Sreenivas Gudimetla, a cardiologist and president of the Tarrant County board of directors of the American Heart Association, says that family expectations can thwart us at this time of year.

"Parents traditionally show love to their kids by encouraging them to eat more food, and when the children eat that food it is a validation to the parents that the food was cooked well and tastes good," Gudimetla says.

With cardiovascular disease the No. 1 cause of death in the United States, and rates of childhood obesity rising, doctors are concerned about the long-term consequences of eating a high volume of rich dishes and desserts.

"We need to educate parents that healthy eating is a better way to show your love," he says, "rather than focus so much on these elaborate, high-fat, non-heart-healthy meals."

The average Thanksgiving meal can run anywhere from 2,500 to 3,000 calories, says Meridan Zerner, a dietitian at Cooper Clinic who has been advising Wilfong.

"Of course, there are those overachievers who may be able to get in closer to 5,000 calories," Zerner says.

"To achieve that, it would mean seconds and then several slices of pecan pie after the meal with real whipped cream and a chocolate drizzle."

But Wilfong is heading into Thanksgiving with her immediate and extended family supportive of her goals.

She and her sister-in-law, Misty Birdsong, have been studying lighter versions of favorite recipes since October for their menu.

Wilfong has scoped out a hilly running site near her parents' home in Waco where she can walk while she's visiting.

Also planning ahead, Wilfong consulted Zerner and is working with Cooper fitness trainer David Williams on a program she can continue away from the facility.

Thanksgiving can overpower someone who has a sweet tooth as she does, Wilfong says. She admits to straying a bit from her goals on Halloween and her recent birthday. But that's made her all the more determined to do better at Thanksgiving.

"For Thanksgiving, we are going with some of the regular menu -- turkey, my grandma's stuffing and gravy -- and some substitute items. Instead of a high-fat green bean casserole, I am doing a lighter version that has panko bread crumbs rather than fried onions on top.

For appetizers we are having a roasted eggplant spread from The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook with veggies to dip or maybe some healthy crackers.

"We are adding a pumpkin soup this year," Wilfong continues.

"It fills you up and is very healthy with not many calories. We are trying a new Tofu Pumpkin Pie recipe from Meridan Zerner.

"We are also going to reduce the number of desserts we fix this year. Having too many choices leads to overeating."

As for exercise, she anticipates slipping in an extra workout day Thanksgiving week -- so she can eat more -- and giving herself a reward for getting back on her regular food and fitness schedule by Saturday.

"I am also going to make a goal for the time period between Thanksgiving and Christmas. If I hit a certain number of workouts, or minutes logged working out, I will give myself a prize like a massage or new workout clothes."

COPING WITH FOOD

Cooper dietitian Meridan Zerner's guide to making Thanksgiving as healthy as possible:

--Burn extra calories before the big day and select one dietary indiscretion that makes it feel like a holiday. Use light recipes for the rest of the meal, such as butternut squash soup made with fat-free condensed milk instead of cream.

--Modify recipes rather than expect everyone to eat less; reduce the butter in grandma's cake by substituting applesauce.

--Consider a big salad and a vegetable plate or a broth- based soup as starters.

--Drink water before, during and after the meal.

--Have larger portions of lighter foods and smaller portions of heavier ones.

COPING WITH FEELINGS

Michelle May addresses the pressures to overeat in her book, Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: How to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle (Greenleaf, $24.95), released in October. A family physician and founder of the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Program workshops, she offers these tips to avoid emotional holiday eating:

--Often the holiday foods we crave represent our craving for closeness, a return to happier times, simply fond memories. Acknowledge the meaning behind your cravings and meet those needs by spending time with family and friends, looking through old photo albums or enjoying other holiday traditions.

--Eat mindfully. Take a few moments to be truly thankful for the abundance of food that is available now and every day.

--During your meal, notice the appearance, aromas and flavors of your food while staying aware of your level of fullness. Eat slowly; take time to focus on the people and conversations around you.

--Food is abundant this time of year (actually all year for many of us). Remind yourself that you can eat more later, so there's no need to eat it all now and ruin the experience by being too stuffed.

TRAINING TIPS

Cooper fitness trainer David Williams' advice on maintaining a fitness program through the Thanksgiving holiday:

--Reduce the training, but don't eliminate it. Anything is better than nothing.

--Take one brisk 30- to 45-minute walk daily. It can give you an opportunity to unwind or talk with family members after dinner or take the dog for a walk.

--Performance training routines are split into four-week cycles. On the fourth week, you move into a de-load week during which the intensity is reduced to about 50 to 60 percent.

Copyright (C) 2009, The Dallas Morning News