For some kids, returning to the classroom — or attending school
for the first time — can be a lesson in anxiety. Each year, millions of school students head back to elementary, middle and high school classrooms. Not all of them are happy about it. Most students readily accept the new school year. However, those who have had bad school experiences such as poor grades, grim teachers or troubles making friends may find it difficult to enjoy the classroom. How can you help? 
Sending your children off to their first day of preschool or kindergarten isn't just tough on you. Your child may have mixed feelings about school, and that can lead to distress.
Although most children are excited about starting school, they often are nervous about separating from mom and dad. This can be especially true for kids who haven't spent much time away from you, for example, children who have never attended day care. Even if your child doesn't tell you that he or she is nervous, it's best to assume that the child is worried and needs your help. How can you help? One of the best ways to lessen school anxiety is to make the new environment as familiar as possible. Visit the building with your child, play in the playground and sit in the classrooms. Most school districts have programs that encourage this before school starts. It also helps to let your child know that you won't be out of touch. Tell your child that the school has your phone number and can reach you when necessary. But don't focus on scary words such as "emergency." Stay enthusiastic. And be careful not to communicate any of your fears to your child. Finally, let your child bring up specific concerns, and then try to address them. For example, children starting preschool or kindergarten often have questions about the bathrooms. A child may ask how far away the bathroom is from the classroom and whether he or she can use it at anytime. (This is when that visit to the school really pays off.) Back to top
For children returning to school — regardless of their age — it's important to think about the previous year's experience. If your son or daughter had poor grades, struggled with home work or was unhappy for any reason, he or she probably won't be too thrilled about the coming school year.
You can turn around a "bad" year by providing support and making it clear that despite what happened last year, this year can be a new beginning. Offer your child some sympathy for whatever happened last year, but more importantly, encourage your child to do better this year. Let your child know that you're ready to do all you can to help. Even if your child had a great year last year, making the transition from elementary school to middle school presents specific concerns. Your child may have heard scary stories about the new school, rumors, really, often from older kids intent on spreading some fear. Make it clear to your child that you know other kids are saying things about the new school (or the teachers) that are not very flattering. Ask your child about the stories that he or she may have heard. Only by learning what rumors are swirling around can you address and diffuse them. For shy kids, a new school can be especially stressing. Their new school will probably be bigger than the old one, and there will almost certainly be more kids in their classes and hallways. Help your child focus on handling one stressful thing at a time, for example, making one new friend. Breaking down the volume of new people and new experiences that your child will face makes the situation more manageable. Back to top
If your child is attending school in a new area, recognize that he or she will initially feel alone. It's difficult to walk into a new school and not know anyone. Offer your child lots of encouragement. Tell your child you know what he or she is going through. Remind your child of positive experiences from the past, such as how well he or she does at meeting new people, both at school and in extracurricular activities.
Transferring to a new school can be especially tough for shy children. In this situation, the best thing you can do is to sympathize with your child's situation and help your son or daughter find ways to make new friends. Clubs and after-school activities are great places to meet new people in smaller groups. Back to top
Last updated February 02, 2005
| 
